(2/2) like it was my fault and I’m not sure she did it on purpose, idk maybe she did…basically I just need advice bc I don’t know what to do but the memories are starting to resurface and I can’t deal with it. I know y’all always say that it’s never the victim’s fault and I know I didn’t give a lot of details but what if it actually was my fault this time? I just feel like it was my fault I just don’t know what to do.
Anon, I did not get the first half of your message, so I cannot address the details of your experience directly. But what I can say is this… if anything sexual happened to you that you did not consent to—whether this person’s intention was to hurt you or not, that is irrelevant. It is never your fault when you are sexually assaulted. I always say this because it’s always true. If somebody hurts you, that’s not your fault. And nobody should ever tell you that you deserved it, or you should have done something more or something different to avoid or stop an assault. If they do, they’re wrong. Blame for rape lies with the rapist, no matter their gender, your gender, or their ultimate intentions.
If you want to, you can write back in with the beginning of your message, and I can respond again and try to help you more. Please take care, and I hope to hear from you.