hey i had sex a while ago with someone and when she was getting into it she put her fingers in me and i was feeling it, ok, but then i started feeling uncomfortable and i obviously looked uncomfortable because she asked me are you uncomfortable i said yeah but i kept going with it then i told her no i’m not comfortable and that i was done and didn’t want to do it she pulled out her fingers but then she looks down at me and goes are you sure then stuck her fingers back in me again… i feel really confused because i asked her to stop but then she went and stuck her fingers back in me i mean is it bad that i feel like i didn’t like it? i was just lying there a little shocked cause i had just said no and she went back in. i didn’t even mention it but it really bothered me… i don’t want to mention it i don’t want to talk about it just cause it felt so gross. that doesn’t count as rape does it?
Yes, it does. A good partner/person stops as soon as they ask, ‘do you feel uncomfortable’ and you say ‘yes.’ In this case, this person continues after you’ve verbalized your discomfort, and then after you’ve specifically said you wanted to stop, she touched you again. This is absolutely sexual assault/rape. Any sexual activity that occurs without consent is sexual assault, no matter how brief. You did everything right and it’s perfectly valid to be upset, feel angry or traumatized by what she did.
Too often we talk about consent and rape as though these are important things for cis men to know about. People of all genders need to be aware of consent, and people of all genders can assault others. What this woman did to you counts as rape. Fingers count. Sexual assault by cis women counts. I hope you will reach out for someone to talk to if you need it. Take care.