TW: RAPE I have a friend who was forced to give a guy a blowjob while she was high. She’s still completely civil to him, as if it never happened, even though it’s haunting her. I feel like an awful person for being angry with her, because I know not everyone has the courage to stand up for themselves or report someone, but I still don’t fully understand and I WANT to. I suppose I’m asking, what kind of dynamics cause someone to be perfectly fine with someone who raped them?
Everyone reacts to rape differently, and your friend is coping it with it in the way she knows how. Maybe she acts as though she isn’t upset because she blames herself. Maybe she is pretending it didn’t happen. Maybe it makes her feel stronger to make this rapist piece of crap think he didn’t hurt her. Maybe she knows that if she isn’t civil and people find out what he did to her, some of them will blame her, and she doesn’t want that. There are many, many reasons for your friend to be acting like this, and I really doubt that she is actually perfectly fine with it.
I understand some general anger, because someone you love got hurt, and you want to see that person that did it punished. But being angry with her is misguided. She’s the victim, and she deserves your care, respect, and help. She’s going to have to deal with this the way that feels best for her, and all you can do is support her.