I’ve heard a lot of people say, sexual assault isn’t ever about sex. It’s about power and violence. But what happened to me wasn’t violent, and I don’t think it was about power. I just think he didn’t care about what I thought or felt. I don’t think he was trying to assert any power or anything. I think he just did it because he wanted something that I wasn’t willing to give him, so he took it. To me that seems like it’s about sex. Can you help me figure this out? Thanks.
I think the ‘sexual assault is about power’ thing is true of some rapists, for instance sadistic rapists, stranger rapists, etc. But other times, as you said, it’s about wanting to have sex with someone regardless of how they feel about that. There are different motivations for rapists, and I don’t think it’s accurate to say every rape is about power.
ETA: A couple of our followers brought up the sense of entitlement the rapist has in rapes like yours, which is connected to power. Good comments.