(TW: sexual violence, including explicit description; rape denial; suicide; misgendering)
Hi everyone. I’ve been getting some questions about the night Ira raped me. I’m gonna go through the details from my perspective, from an account that HE wrote of it the morning after. He edited it after getting the ask he quotes to “emphasize the truth,” as he put it at the time. Here’s my side of the story.
By the way, he has strongly hinted that he will try to smear my name if I say anything about this when I’ve brought this up with him before. He is very well respected within activist circles and knows a lot of stuff about me that I don’t want put into the public space, plus he has a lot of social power that I don’t have. He also has a history of being extremely triggered by being called out, and by using his mental illness as a means of deflecting criticism. I expect he will use these tactics in responding to this.
A is cisgender, and while she works constantly to check her privilege and to be a good ally, she makes mistakes too. This is something that is a risk in general as a trans* person sleeping with cisgender folks. I knew of the risks, but I didn’t really plan for what I would do. In reality, and A would definitely agree with me on this, I shouldn’t have to plan. Unfortunately, it happens, and so for my emotional health I need to prepare.
I was identifying as cis at the time. Now, I’m genderqueer and use “they” pronouns.
this is what a rapist sounds like when wrapped in bullshit sj self affirmation.. this is some foul ass victim blaming, language wank-at-the-expense-of-someone-else’s humanity..if i were to completely believe Ira’s pov I’d still be reading the escalation of sexual assault from a putrid pov
I’ve never heard of “iragray” before, but believe I will remember that name.
Also just a thought…I don’t want guys like him to get therapy, I don’t want them to “make amends,” I don’t want them to “apologize,” I don’t want them to be “held accountable”…..
The kind of stuff I want for guys like this is more along the lines of: Never again write word one about sex, sexuality, or consent, never again have sex, delete your blog and leave the internet for good.
I had never heard of him either. For those of you who are familiar with him, and/or read his words/respected him, you need to see the post above.