March 2012
0 posts
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Anon said:
NJ anon again, it’d be great if there were LGBT-friendly resources since I’m bisexual, but if there aren’t any don’t worry about it. Thank you so much for your help. :)
I’m not having any luck finding something online. New Jersey Coalition Against Sexual Assault (NJCASA) at least mentions LGBT on their website, so that’s somewhat of a good sign....
4 tags
[TW sexual assault, abuse]
Anon asked:
My ex girlfriend (for clarification, I am also female) with whom I was in a long distance relationship with used to coerce me into phone sex; I never got off but she would ask me to make noises for her loudly even when she knew people sleeping nearby would hear. I spent some time at her apartment once and she was pushy sometimes about asking for mutual masturbation, kissing...
5 tags
“[TW rape culture, exploitation of minors]
Some underaged persons are not...”
– WAHAMMA AV ZYYLLYHOO:
Let’s not use use terms like ‘romantic company’ and act like you mean something other than statutory rape. The law doesn’t penalize you for doing any of the non-sexual aspects of dating with teens. It penalizes you for raping them.
If you are 20 years...
February 2012
177 posts
Anonymous asked: If we submit something because it's too long for an ask can it stay anonymous?
3 tags
Anonymous asked you:
Do you know of any sexual assault resources in New Jersey? (Specifically South Jersey/Atlantic City area?) I tried a Google search without much success and I have no one else I can turn to right now. Sorry for taking up your time but this is really stressing me out and it’s starting to affect my grades but I’d feel weird talking about this kind of stuff to ...
1 tag
CRINJ - A warning about the "campaign group"... →
slut-shaming:
A WARNING... There is a “campaign group” called RINJ (Rape Is No Joke), otherwise known as SAINJ (Sex Assault Is No Joke) who started up with the objective of removing rape “joke” pages from Facebook. Many people joined their cause, “liking” their page, because they too wanted to see these rape pages removed. Unfortunately, it appears that this group had an ulterior motive. Many...
2 tags
[TW sexual assault]
Anonymous asked you:
I’ve spent the past several years trying to decide on a label for what happened to me at 13. An (alternative) medicine practitioner met with me alone, basically came onto me, and kissed me, but it never went beyond that. I finally decided to describe myself as “someone who escaped sexual assault” because I think it WOULD have gotten much, much worse, ...
3 tags
[TW victim blaming]
witherwind asked you:
A “friend” of mine compared my being sexually assaulted a year ago to me getting physical with the guy I’ve been seeing for a while, and insinuated that my dude would hurt me like my attacker did because I’m “naive” and “too easy”. This conversation took place last night, and since then I’ve been miserable. I know...
3 tags
[TW rape]
Anonymous asked you:
I recently went to London for a study abroad program. When I was there, me and a group of students went out to a pub. One of the guys in the group had invited me to come a long. I ended up really drunk and next thing I knew (I dont remember getting there), I was in his hotel room naked. I sobered up when I realized he was giving me anal sex and it hurt so I said stop....
Anonymous asked: for your resources for survivors page. rape victim advocates (RVA) in chicago. very LGBTQ friendly with queer/trans identified advocates.
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nathalie-forever-ago asked you:
I was wondering if you’d be willing to put a link to a post of mine on your blog? I’m an undergrad psychology student beginning work on a research project regarding survivors of sexual assault and their experiences with disclosure. I’m still in the process of writing my proposal & am still reading all of the current literature, but I...
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Consent
deltumbles:
lets-blog-about-sex-baby:
Consent is one of the single most important aspect of any relationship, especially one that is sexual or might become sexual. The biggest thing to remember about consent is that it is not ongoing, meaning that a partner may give consent at one point, and then remove that consent at another. Consent is not given automatically simply because one has given it...
8 tags
[TW rape culture, slut shaming, victim blaming]... →
So… one of my facebook friends just posted this story, agreeing with it. It’s basically an entire article of victim-blaming, slut shaming garbage about Rihanna. About the Chris Brown stuff she says:
What’s upsetting for those of us who admire Rihanna’s talent and boldness — and for me as a feminist — is that she has clearly not taken up the narrative of women’s...
2 tags
Lemme say this again for those who didn't catch it...
ethiopienne:
SURVIVORS. DO. NOT. NEED. YOUR. INPUT. [TW: sexual assault, domestic violence] I cannot tell you how many times I’ve found the courage to speak about what happened to me when I was younger only to hear “…you know you should’ve reported that, right?” or “so you didn’t say anything? what’s wrong with you?” or “well maybe if you had done X or Y or Z he’d be in jail right now and you...
3 tags
[TW rape culture]
Anon asked:
You don’t think it falls on survivors to warn others about a predator? My abuser hurt other girls before me, and none of them told. I know it’s hard but if the first one had spoken out maybe the others, me included, could have been spared. I understand it’s up to the survivor how to deal but it’s not fair to let them get away with it again. All they have ...
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Re: "walk of shame"
Anon said:
Re: walk of shame… When bf and I were in college we usually slept at his place because his roommate was rarely on campus. I chose to call my walk home in the morning my “strut of gettin’ some” because I felt a-ok about what we were doing. Only once did anyone try to openly judge me for it and I just asked them why the hell they though their outdated gender...
4 tags
[TW rape, harassment]
Anon said:
I ran into my rapist in WalMart last week. I haven’t seen him in 8 years. While I was leaving to catch up with my friends, he came up behind me in line and said “Your ass got real big. I’d still fuck you though. This time I’d make sure you’re awake though. You’ll like it.” The cashier actually laughed, and I ran out of there. ...
2 tags
[TW rape culture]
Submitted by cheeryfantasies, who said:
This guy friend requested me on FB sometime back. He also has a Tumblr (highcastle.tumblr.com) for his photography which is almost exclusively erotic photos of women. While I have no problem with that I do take issue with someone who works with so many women making a post like the one attached. What a sensitive guy, right?
I take issue with him...
2 tags
[TW rape culture]
anon asked:
your thoughts on the chris brown & rihanna songs that have just come out?
If you care about rape culture and supporting survivors, you do not judge any survivor for the way they handle their abuse. That’s just how it is. So my thoughts are that Rihanna was a victim of a very serious assault, and however she wishes to deal with her abuser is her own business.
I know from...
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Anon asked:
is sexual harassment a part of rape culture?
Yes, for sure. Unwanted sexual advances, comments, jokes, etc are just one way in which people’s boundaries are not respected. Because rape culture is one in which women are routinely infringed upon physically and/or sexually, sexual harassment applies.
2 tags
Anon said:
So many people defend rape jokes on the ground that murder and death jokes are fine, and this now has me wondering why that is. How is something like the Darwin Awards anything but yet another case of “you should have been smart enough to avoid this horrible thing happening to you”? I think the prevalence of rape jokes and of murder jokes BOTH center in rape culture-...
2 tags
Anon asked:
Comedians like Anthony Jeselnik and the late Patrice O’Neal have made careers using racy material, a lot of which contains jokes about rape. They’ve been embraced by comedy fans, and networks like viacom’s comedy central and HBO. It’s sick. What would you say to them if they were playing in a club in your hometown?
To them? Nothing, because I...
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Anon said:
I want to interrogate the phrase “walk of shame” a little. There is disturbing sexist undertone coupled with the attempt to frame the judgmental language in a humorous way. It is the same type of language that serves to hold up the puritanical view that any feeling of sexual pleasure should lead to shame. In addition, it also creates confusion in people who feel they...
3 tags
[TW molestation, child abuse]
Anon asked:
I’m not sure if my rape was considered rape. It happened so long ago, I can barely remember it. But when I was 8 years old, an older boy told me they liked me (which I might’ve fallen for because I wasn’t very popular) and started to hang out with me. That later turned into these “experiments” he wanted to try, like kissing and touching me forcibly ...
3 tags
[TW rape]
Anon said:
My ex boyfriend comes over my house all the time to visit my roommates. Sometimes when he’s here he chases me around and gropes me. He grabs my breasts, my ass and tries to stick his hands down my pants. He even stuck his finger inside me a few times while chasing me around. He always asks me to give him a blow jobs. He says I owe it to him. I usually say no but if I say no...
3 tags
[TW rape culture]
Anon said:
You might think this is incredibly ridiculous, every year our school gets someone to talk to us about rape. Last year was focused on date rape. I figure I should share this, but he told us that if we were ever in the situation of date rape, pretend to give in, do a little giggle and the whole “oh that tickles” thing and then just say, “Hold on, I need to go to...
Anonymous asked: As a rape survivor, I would be incredibly grateful for people who haven't been raped to speak up and tell others not to use the word lightly. It's definitely distressing to me when people toss it around. Sure, there's a chance that someone who has been raped won't care, but it's their business to reclaim the word on their own then; they won't be hurt by someone not...
1 tag
How to support a rape survivor
Anon asked:
my friend recently confided in me about a guy taking advantage of (having sex with) her when she was out drinking with him. she wants to report it and i told her she should, but she said she’s scared and isn’t sure she can handle it. she’s only told me and another male friend. how can we help her?
The most important thing you can do for your friend is to...
Anonymous asked: In response to anon's question, this is my opinion: rape victims have every right to process their pain in any way that is necessary for them, but nobody should willfully hurt other people. So if a survivor finds comfort in making those jokes, that's fine. But they should find a way to do it in a way that does not affect other people. As far as that person knew before she made the joke,...
Anonymous asked: In response to that anon about rape culture and colloquial use of the word 'rape', I think if someone who wasn't a sexual assault victim used the word 'rape' in a colloquial way, and another non-victim called them out on it, as a victim myself I would feel grateful because I wouldn't feel able to do that myself. Conversations usually aren't in a vacuum, and...
2 tags
[TW rape culture]
Anon asked:
Hi! I have a question, I hope that’s okay. Basically, are rape victims “allowed” to use the word rape however they see fit? When I was younger, I had a friend who said a meal was “raping her wallet”, and I asked her to please not use that word so trivially around me. She asked if I had ever been raped, and I got pissed- first that she would ask such...
down-sizing asked: Saw that stupid "Boyfriend Went Vegan" spot and I'm just left thinking: how fucking surprising, once again PETA chooses to try to advance animal rights at the expense of women's rights. I feel like there needs to be a completely separate organization: People for the ethical treatment of animals without trivializing human suffering. But PETAWTHS isn't quite as catchy.
3 tags
[TW abuse, sexual assault]
Here’s some follow-up on this ask from last week.
I tried to talk to her about it but she always made herself seem like the victim. In that case, she said I hurt her feelings by ‘rejecting her’ and that I didn’t want to express my affection in front of my friend because I secretly desired my friend and didn’t want to ruin my chances. She was extremely jealous. She also said I acted...
Anonymous asked: As an aside, can I just talk about how I wish people would stop using that Stephen Fry picture about being offended? It sucks because Fry is mostly hilarious and I love him, but he's still a dick in real life and it just perpetuates this whole idea of "LOOK GUYS A WHITE MALE OF HIGH STATUS ISN'T OFFENDED, THEREFORE THERE IS NOTHING TO BE OFFENDED BY RIGHT???"
willzone replied to your post: Ugh. I want to make a blog called STFU Snark Culture and just reblog you.
No, it’s not just that. I like your blog when you’re smart, I hate it when you’re all nit-picky and snarky, “ugh, use spell check” or the whole “lemme single out this one bit, snark it up, and I win” attitude. just stay smart.
I’m just so glad I have you here to patronizingly tell...
willzone asked: Ugh. I want to make a blog called STFU Snark Culture and just reblog you.
pixyled:
stfurapeculture:
willzone asked you:
I won’t stop unfollowing. It’s OK to disagree with things people say. I think you’re blog is on point most of the time, but sometimes, in my opinion, i feel you’re way off base, and thats why I commented. And thats OK. That’s what free speech is all about. you are offended by a lot of things that I’m not. Keep fighting your fight, and...
willzone asked you:
I won’t stop unfollowing. It’s OK to disagree with things people say. I think you’re blog is on point most of the time, but sometimes, in my opinion, i feel you’re way off base, and thats why I commented. And thats OK. That’s what free speech is all about. you are offended by a lot of things that I’m not. Keep fighting your...
Anonymous asked: are you no longer posting submissions/stories?
Petition to remove Alexander Ryking as editor of... →
willzone:
stfurapeculture:
stfuconservatives:
steviemcfly:
The goal is 1,000 signatures. Please sign and reblog, because we should not have someone who is an unrepentant sexist and rape apologist, who heaps praise upon men who threaten to beat and rape women, in an editorial position here.
DONE.
Happy to signal boost this. Ryking is a textbook fauxgressive. He doesn’t believe in white...
3 tags
Petition to remove Alexander Ryking as editor of... →
stfuconservatives:
steviemcfly:
The goal is 1,000 signatures. Please sign and reblog, because we should not have someone who is an unrepentant sexist and rape apologist, who heaps praise upon men who threaten to beat and rape women, in an editorial position here.
DONE.
Happy to signal boost this. Ryking is a textbook fauxgressive. He doesn’t believe in white privilege, male...
3 tags
I saw a post by Ryking just now
coldbitterness:
And I’m not gonna reblog it because fuck that shitstain I don’t feel like talking directly to him, I’d make more headway talking to my toothbrush
But the post was a question asking “if Chris Brown had beaten up a man three years ago, would anyone still care?” tagged with, among other things, “misandry” and “hypocrisy”
And wow so I have a lot of (sad, angry) feelings about that...
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The way this blog has been going lately, I will...
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[TW sexual assault]
Anon said:
I’d like you to post my story anonymously: I feel like this was rape or assault but I’m not sure. I’m a lesbian and when I was in high school, I went to my best friend’s house with my girlfriend. My girlfriend was jealous of my best friend, thinking I was interested in her, even though I assured her I wasn’t. So, we were sitting on my friend’s...
Anonymous asked: You are awesome. Thank you for this blog!
2 tags
teachthecontroversy reblogged your post: hopelessly-romantic-cynic replied to your post: Is…
block
Yeah, you have to supply an email, but Tumblr accepts kjdfhgiup@dfid.com as an email address.
LOL! Really? Well, there you go, anon who asked. It doesn’t have to be a valid email.
hopelessly-romantic-cynic replied to your post: Is it possible to submit anonymously? I just want to get my story off my chest without revealing who I am publicly.
They can also log out of their account and send an anonymous submission.
You do have to use an email address when you submit this way, but it’s also an option. Thanks!